Reflecting on Rakhi/Rakshabandhan

reflecting on the rituals of raksha-bandhan (literally, 'ties of protection') - the indian festival in which a sister ties a thread on her brother's wrist as a symbol of love and embodying her prayers for his protection and the brother vows to protect the sister. sweet, right? but also notice the deep misogyny in the assumption that women can just pray and need men for their protection. the rituals can continue to reinforce messages that make worse the gender inequity in india. in many cases, the rituals can mask true feelings and impose a fake familial love for a day, which i think does more damage to the soul than good. another problem is what I find is the romanticization of some of these rituals divorcing them from their political and mythical history which was more colorful than the bland version i grew up with. the funny thing is that the bland version i grew up with only existed as a narrative and in conversation post-Rakhi-day. but as i grew up and was more privy to information, it was interesting to note how the actual play was anything but bland and marked by a colorful drama of family politics, hierarchies, allegiances, strife, and a bundle of amazing contradictions ... in the way only a large extended indian family can manage.  in school we wrote essays on the festival of raksha-bandhan. and in my days, it would have been unthinkable to voice a critical view of these practices in a school essay. i wonder if students still write these essays and if they have the freedom to write that we do away with the chauvinism embedded in these rituals. i hope that the new generation is changing; and in their change, also changing these customs; taking out the chauvinism, the misogyny and injecting a sense of gender equity. while change will be slow and spotty, i believe it might be possible to retain the good aspects of the rituals while throwing out the decaying parts. such change is probably already happening (i see some indications in how a few of my south asian friends are wording their rakhi messages). maybe we can use the 'rakhi' (the thread) as a symbol of care and respect, without reservations as to gender, relation, blood-ties; transcend the rakhi from sister-brother to between sisters, brothers, colleagues, friends, family, spouse - as long as we care for the well-being of that person (but without the sense that either party needs divine protection or is unable to protect themselves).

Sab Maya Hai

It's 5pm on a Saturday. I am still groggy from an afternoon nap and making coffee. It is those drip coffee thingies that you put a filter in, spoon in the coffee in the filter and pour hot water on top of that. Fixated at the water percolating through, I note the pretty patterns of oily bubbles on the coffee grounds. Rainbow colors. Nature is pretty. I find myself smiling in some abstract joy. But then I wonder whether finding beauty in simple nature things is an evolutionary trait. It helps find pleasure, meaning, purpose, will through life. I see emaciated and dead bodies of people who lacked this sense and succumbed to depression or lack of desire to live. And I again find myself smiling in some abstract joy at the wonder of shaping through evolution. And then, I think of the circularity of the whole damned thing as I wonder if this is maya. The illusion of the world.